Op-Ed: Doug Blair: Portland protests show how unserious the left really is

Portland’s protests embody the left’s utter failure; a philosophy insisting the country teeters on the edge of tyranny, but whose foot soldiers show up in frog suits and leg warmers, Doug Blair writes

Painted on the outside wall of Dante’s Pizza and Bar in downtown Portland is the phrase “Keep Portland Weird.” It’s the city’s unofficial slogan; a mantra Rose City denizens take to heart. As a Portlander, I agree being quirky can be harmless. The problem is when a real issue arises, Portlanders show themselves as deeply unserious people.

The ongoing demonstrations outside the ICE facility show this clearly. Recently, video circulated online of Portland protestors in 80s workout gear doing dance aerobics. Another video showed what looked like a detention bus arriving as the same group weakly booed from the sidewalk.

Portland has been ground zero for endless anti-ICE protests this year, though thankfully none have reached the violence of 2020.

Last month a man in a blowup frog suit was pepper sprayed by federal officers, inspiring a wave of copycat inflatable creatures to appear at the site. “I’m here protesting the inhumane way that ICE and DHS is treating our immigrants,” the inflatable amphibian told the Oregonian. “Whether they’re here legally or not, they should be treated as a human being because that’s what they are.”

That same month, activists staged an “emergency” naked bike ride in the pouring rain, sending hundreds of Portland’s finest cyclists towards the ICE building. Speaker Mike Johnson (R., La.) called it the “most threatening thing I’ve seen yet,” which is the correct response to seeing the average Portlander nude.

Protestors insist these ridiculous demonstrations counter President Donald Trump’s claims the protests are violent. One writer argued Portland’s frogs and 80s revelers were using “tactical frivolity” by diffusing high tension situations with humor.

“When you have this kind of tactical frivolity and an open, carnival-esque feeling to the demonstration or the march, we are not just saying what we’re against. We are saying what we are for,” author L.M. Bogad told the Marshall Project. “And that’s a big part of building a movement.”

Unfortunately, Bogad is completely wrong.

The average American sees these protests and draws two conclusions. First, the participants are deeply unserious and not worth supporting. Second, whatever they claim to oppose cannot be a real threat if the response involves frog suits and public nudity.

As one leftist on social media put it, the protests somehow feel worse than doing nothing at all.

The core issue is the wide gap between the protestors’ rhetoric and their tactics. They claim Trump is a fascist, that immigrants are being rounded up en masse and sent to torture camps, and that the republic is mere days away from King Donald I. If they believed any of this, their response would be solemn, serious, and measured.

Instead, it’s amplified Portland weirdness; more like an average Tuesday than an existential crisis. One struggles to imagine the Civil Rights protests resembling anything like this. MLK’s “I Have a Dream” speech may have been slightly less impactful were he dressed as the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. The protestors seem more interested in socializing than in accomplishing anything.

Bogad essentially admits this as well. “It’s basically like a people’s costume ball, where everyone you know is there, you don’t need an invitation,” he said. “Just show up.”

I saw the same thing during the mass protests following the Dobbs decision toppling Roe v. Wade. I asked one protestor who spent months outside Justice Amy Coney Barrett’s home why he continued to come. He told me it was a good chance to see his friends.

Thus, the image the left crafts for itself is one of deeply unserious people engaging in deeply unserious behavior to promote deeply unserious policy. Americans see what is happening in Portland as a microcosm of the larger leftist project: stupid, vapid, and weird.

Portland’s protests embody the left’s utter failure; a philosophy insisting the country teeters on the edge of tyranny, but whose foot soldiers show up in frog suits and leg warmers. If this is how they confront what they claim is a national emergency, Americans can be sure none of it is real.

The protestors have sent one message loud and clear, though. The left is a joke.

Doug Blair is a conservative commentator and is the author of the Blair Broadcast.